Dolfins, Whalse, and Shrcse

We're starting a theme on the Ocean this week. This morning, I asked Emma to write out on the board exactly what she would like to learn about the Ocean. This was her list:

Dolfins
walse
shrcse
see creechrs (<-- this was Charlie's idea)
seegls
fish
see trtls
craBs
manutees
octupoos
see Horse
sTing ray
jeleefish

Every time I have been in the classroom today, I've taken a moment to re-read this list. I am blown away by my daughter. Here is this magnificent, brilliant, beautiful five year old child sounding out words. Making lists. Taking charge of her education. She has decided where she would like this theme to go. Will she always be like this? Will she have this determination with the decisions about her life?

Sometimes, I'm afraid I'm not enough for her. I'm afraid she gets "pushed aside" because of her brother. And now there will be another child here pushing her aside. She is such a radiant child. She sparkles. She laughs so easily and cries out about the injustices she sees around her. She already knows that when she grows up she wants to save the animals. She happily claims that when she rides her bike to art class, "I'm saving the world!" She is shy and tender. She is silly and goofy. She is a loving, devoted child of God.

I worry about her future. The injustices she faces today are nothing compared to what she will face as she grows and matures and begins to understand true injustices in our world. How will I shield her? How will I protect her? How will I teach her to cope, when many times I feel like I can't cope? She has such a tender heart and I want nothing in this world to change that. I want her to always witness the good in people.

I see how she deals with being "pushed aside" by her brother. She joins him. She makes his ideas a part of her ideas. She incorporates herself into his life as well as incorporating him into her life. I see already how she will deal with being "pushed aside" by the new child by how she takes care of her baby doll. She holds her, swaddles her, feeds her, and makes every day for this baby doll a celebration. "Today is her birthday!" "She just started talking!"

Deep in my heart, under all the fear and apprehension, I know Emma will make it. She will be successful in her life. She has so much to give, so much she is willing to give, the doors in life will open for her.

Sometimes, I'm afraid I'm not enough for her.
But I know, I know, SHE will always be enough for her.