It is called:
"Loving your child just enough so that you do not maim them while in a public dining facility."
So here is where my story starts:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful, elegant, and very, very, very patient (oh be quiet- yes she is) mother with three children. One day, this mother decided to take her children to the store to buy essentials for the eldest's upcoming birthday party. The shopping trip went something like this:
Older two children: "Mother Dear, how can we be of help to you? Our only aim is to please you and make you happy and proud of us."
Youngest child: "Screeeeeech, screeeeeech, whine, whine, whine, whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, screeech. Hi. Hi. Screeeeeeeeech."
It was most certainly a lovely trip.
After that, it was decided that the family would make a stop at a restaurant where food is served at a quicker pace. Soups, salads, and sandwiches are on the menu, making it a favorite of the children. The Mother and children quickly washed their hands, ordered their food, and sat down to wait. While waiting, the mother, ever so gracefully swished her arm to the side and unloaded her drink all over the table and floor. After that was cleaned up, the daughter, loving the mother so very much, chose to follow her pattern and most agilely spilled her drink all over the table and floor. It was so very delightful. Delightful, delightful, delightful. So delightful, I might add, that the mother exclaimed quite loudly, "I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!" (I'm sure she meant she couldn't deal with the overflowing amount of love she was feeling.)
After that scene, the youngest child chose this time to let all the patrons of this fine establishment know just how he felt about the delicious sandwich his mother put before him. That statement sounded something like this:
"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech." And lasted for the duration of their stay. Which wasn't very much longer.
The mother, realizing that she would much rather spend these precious moments at home with her children- she sometimes has trouble sharing her children with the world- chose to grab several "to-go" containers, pack up the food (all while saying calmly and serenely, "I love my youngest son. I love my youngest son. I love my youngest son. I love my youngest son."), seized her youngest child from his highchair, and made haste to exit the restaurant. In fact, they left with such haste, it was as if the youngest child's feet flew behind him.
The mother chose this moment, while in the car, to reflect on the past few hours with her children, and fought the urge to cry. Whether this urge was brought on by the lovely noises her youngest child made, or the knowledge that one day, these children will grow up and they will no longer have trips like this- we will never know. But we do know this: The youngest child is still alive, has not been maimed, and will smile again.... someday.
So, there you have it ladies and gents. A wonderful story showing how the love of one mother kept her child alive, one fateful day.
Plus, could you maim a child who looked like this? Please.
