How many of you are singing that song now?
How do we slow it down? Is it possible? How do we take these days that seem to drag on for too long, and make them drag on even longer? There are so many days that I am willing the night to be here. Willing it to be bedtime for the little folk, only for it to start all over the next day. But I fear I am willing away my very best years. My most precious moments. And if I keep willing them away, and reaching for this future that is so unpredictable, will I miss out and forget the present that is surrounding me, calling me to take part? I want it to slow down.
My monkey-in-the-middle has had a birthday. He is now a year older. He is stretching himself into this future that I am trying to drag my feet against. Plug my ears against. Close my eyes against. Yet, every time I open my eyes again, there he is- taller, heavier, stronger, funnier, smarter... growing.
How do I describe this wonderful child? I have been so blessed to be in his presence for the past six years. Six years doesn't sound like too many- but look what has happened in those six years! It's a lifetime to this little guy. It's a blink of an eye to me. I have watched him discover, learn, laugh, cry. He is so desperate to be a "guy", yet I still see that little boy, that baby. My baby.
Charlie was named for my grandfather, and he has more than lived up to that name. I think my Papa would be proud to share his name with my Charlie. Since the day he was born, Charlie has had the uncanny ability to make me smile. It started with his noises, his cuddles, his baby-rolls, and has far too quickly transitioned to his jokes, his "Charlie-isms", and his chicken legs. But the one thing that has never changed is his smile. Charlie can light up a room with his smile. You can see it shine out through his eyes. You can't help but feel it's warmth.
So today I feel a push and a pull inside me. A push to keep this future from coming, and a pull to see all that is in store. I have seen six years grow on this boy. If I look real hard, I can see a glint of the man he will become. I can see it by the way he treats his sibling with love and respect. I can see it by the way he cares for his Mommy and Daddy. I can see it in the way he is so quick to laugh and so desperate to be brave, but so unabashed when crying out in fear or unfairness. I can see. I just hope I continue to keep my eyes open, so I won't miss a moment.
Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.
